In my life there has been much death, loss, and depression. I have lost my mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather and various other relatives through death along with multiple friends, including Guy, whom God took from me with Kidney cancer.  That's enough to cause anyone to be depressed, but I made things worse by drinking and running as far from God as I could and pretending He didn't exist or if He did, He didn't care about me.  My daughter, in Germany, has disowned me mostly because of a controlling boyfriend that she has twin girls by.